oh, october

ok, so the past week has not been the greatest: but in a way, it has.

honesty is best and honesty is key. honesty takes awhile, but once it gets started nothing feels better and you know that nothing feels better, because if you can't really own up to who you think you are, who are you anyways?

i have no idea what i'm going to do in the future. and ok, money. i know that i have to do work now to save up money -- but for what? who knows. money isn't everything, but money isn't nothing. i am here to give.

quality over quantity, always.

happiness is something you choose to be. you can ask for it, and you probably should.

i have been so busy for the past week learning things, working hard and being busy. and i haven't been rewarded for it. actually, almost everything i have worked for in the past week hasn't turned out the way i wanted it to at all. but that's ok. because, i need to become a big believer in delayed gratification, or perhaps no gratification at all. i'm realizing that everything doesn't have to happen now or be answered now. i can't see the bigger picture and i'm just trusting god as he leads me into the dark. and i'm pretty fine with that.

i've been contemplating over "all i have" by mat kearney ever since it came out and its meaning and why he sings, "and you're watching my heart break a little bit more". but ok, from my experiences, you grow as god breaks you, and as you learn to give yourself to him. eh, debatable.

and remember not to do anything you're not proud of. figure out what matters to you, and freaking do it to the max.

things are dying outside and it's never looked anymore beautiful.